I’ve never been so scared in my life. When you pulled me closer after I tried to escape. I felt so small, so bare. No one seems to understand what I’m going through. Yes people are sympathetic but their is an underline of just talk to him and lets act like this never happened. What he did is not okay. I am not making a bigger deal of this. Because this IS a big deal. I thought I could trust you, you were my friend. But now I’ve never felt so empty. And yes Kyle is trying to help but its hard to do when he is 2 hours away. It also doesn’t help when the one person that stayed up with me for an hour and half until my ride showed up, Kyle just thinks he is hitting on me. To me thats just bullshit because I couldn’t call Kyle at 4 in the morning when this happened so I shared the raw emotions I was feeling with his so he understands how truly terrified I was. God I was so scared and Trevor was there for me. and Kyle doesn’t get that. I just want a do over of yesterday so none of this happened. I wish I didn’t get sexually harassed. I wish I didn’t get so drunk that I couldn’t drive home. I wish I didn’t see that guys dick as he peed on the coffee table. I don’t want to remember any of it. I just want to go back to being sweet old me. But I guess that can’t happen.
First week of classes down and back at the zoo. I think my hardest class will either be Physics Lab or Genetics this semester. Trying to eat better and drink more water. Today I had Taco Bell and a hot pocket so im not doing too well. But I am just trying to live my best life. Grandma’s money came in today. Hot DAMN. Lets just say I wont have to worry about paying for college and I am way too happy to express that holy crap.
Kyle and I’s one year is this sunday and its crazy. This year with him has flown by and I can’t wait to spend many many more with this fella. And also i get to see him two weeks in a row. Im blessed
Also Chewy (the sloth ft. above) loves me. He keeps wanting me to hold him but I am not qualified to hold him and telling him no is probably one of the hardest things to do when he wraps his claws around my arm. And nothing new with Copper, shes still the devil. God I miss bunbun. He was my favorite.
Last thing. It snowed a week ago and now its in the 70′s. Literally what the fuck Mississippi. This is all apart of climate change and it low keep stresses me out because we are killing our planet and no one seems to be giving a flying fuck. Like I am aware that our planet will not die in my life time or my children’s life time or even their children’s life time. But I mean our planet is still worth saving even if we dont live long enough to watch it happen.
This was way longer than expected.
well thats it 2017. you were great. I fell in love i continued to work towards my degree. I made new friends. So many wonderful things. So many things have changed: friend dynamics and the loss of my great grandmother. The set up for this coming year makes 2018 feel like its going to be great. I just got an interview for the library, which means money. Pretty soon my grandma’s will will come in which means money. and finally it looks very confident that i will be able to get an apartment next year which means spending less money AND A FREAKING DOG. Everything is looking up for this year and I cant wait to see what 2018 has in store for me. i hope everything works out
second time my nephew and cousin met. They are practically best friends. They held hands at the light show and Hunter made sure that Violet saw all the lights. At one point Hunter ran off to look at the lights and when he came back this boy apologized for leaving her. And how could the night not end with the two cousins tired and gave each other a kiss goodbye. Oh not to mention when Violet got tired Hunter was pushing her stroller. My heart melted <3 What a great night!







